I want to preface this post with how last night ended. I received a call from C, which I really debated about answering. She was upset and crying, wanting to know if I had spoken to Jacob. I told her that I hadn’t and she went on to tell me that she was afraid that he was out doing things he’s not supposed to be doing and that they had been fighting over text but he refused to speak with her directly. So, after I hung up with her I tried to call Jake (I know, I know…this is where I get into trouble usually). Again he wouldn’t pick up his phone, but would only text. My first thought naturally was that he must be on something which was why wouldn’t speak to anyone directly. Although, all of his text messages made perfect sense and were completely coherent. We had the following text exchange:
ME: Is there a good reason why you won't answer your phone and talk to me?
JAKE: Because I'm busy mom can u not wait till tomorrow it's kinda late
JAKE: I have to work tomorrow
ME: Don't play with me Jake...it's only 9:25 and how busy can you be?
JAKE: I just don't want to hear the drama and that's all u could be calling about and I don't want to
hear it! Nobody sees or hears what happens to me behind the scenes so I don't want to hear the
ME: I'm going to bed...all I'm going to say is I sincerely hope you’re using your head and not doing
anything stupid. Yours and Cathy's issues are just that, they're ya'lls. As I told you earlier, I'm not
going to get involved in that area, but it's no longer just about you two, now there's a baby involved
in all of this and HE is my concern. There is a right way to handle things and you don't have a good
track record in that department. Ryan is the one I worry about. You are a father now and you do
not have the privilege of checking in and out without serious consequences.
JAKE: I agree
So around noon today I sent C a text to check in on her and ask if she was doing okay today. About an hour later she responded saying that she was fine and that Jake came home last night. I asked how he was, figuring he was okay or she wouldn’t have let him come back and she would have been burning up my phone long before now. She said that she took my advise last night and did not engage, but just told Jake she was going to bed and to let her know when he was ready to come home and talk. So, for the first time, it appears that he didn’t do anything stupid and in the end made a good decision. He went home last night instead of staying out; he wasn’t high, just tired and a little irritated. So this time my story ends on a somewhat positive note; however, I know that tomorrow everything could be all upside down again. So I’m going to take it, be happy with it for as long as possible and remain ever cautiously hopeful, yet guarded….even if just for today.
- Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas, United States
- I'm mom to 3 beautiful children, wife to a wonderful man who is the love of my life and grandmother, "Nonna", to a beautiful grandson. Like too many others out there, I am the mother of an addict. I am still learning to deal with things in a healthy way and have a life inspite of the insanity that addiction produces. I am very blessed to have found this community of amazing people that share so much of themselves with us all through their blogs. You are all an inspiration to me. I share your struggles, your pain, your joys and all your hopes. I pray for the addicts still out there suffering and for the people that love them the most. My heart felt thanks to each & every one of you! May God's mercy and grace be with us all, Kristi