About Me

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Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas, United States
I'm mom to 3 beautiful children, wife to a wonderful man who is the love of my life and grandmother, "Nonna", to a beautiful grandson. Like too many others out there, I am the mother of an addict. I am still learning to deal with things in a healthy way and have a life inspite of the insanity that addiction produces. I am very blessed to have found this community of amazing people that share so much of themselves with us all through their blogs. You are all an inspiration to me. I share your struggles, your pain, your joys and all your hopes. I pray for the addicts still out there suffering and for the people that love them the most. My heart felt thanks to each & every one of you! May God's mercy and grace be with us all, Kristi

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Memorial Weekend

I had a great Memorial weekend!  Diane, my best friend of 30 years came up from the Austin area along with her husband and son (who is also my God son).  Our niece (mine and hers) graduated from high school Friday night.  We all went to the graduation and then to dinner and had a really nice time together.  Diane and I don’t get to see each other as often as we used to, so I really look forward to the times we’re able to spend together.  Diane is Jacob’s Godmother and as close to a sister as I will ever know.  I am very blessed to have her in my life!!  She is the most together, rational, even-keeled person I have ever known.  She has always been there for me.  She loves Jacob dearly.  He too is fortunate.

Years ago I began to hold my breath whenever a holiday was upon us, no matter how big or small, holiday’s usually meant something was on the horizon and it usually wasn’t a good thing.  Not that addicts need any excuse or reason to use, but there just seems to be something about holidays that seems to trigger crazier than usual occurrences.  I’m happy to be able to report that Jacob didn’t find any new trouble and he stayed clean (over 5 months and counting, this time).  But this isn’t to say that it was a non-eventful holiday weekend. 
Saturday I received a call from an old childhood friend of Jacob’s (who I’ll refer to as P), who touches base with me a few time a year.  He called to let me know about a tragedy that had occurred earlier that morning.  

There’s another young man (who I’ll refer to as T) that Jake goes back to childhood with.  I have pictures of the two of them with fishing poles and caught fish in hand.  This was back when they were just silly little boys doing what silly little boys do.  As they reached the teen years they became a combustible combination.  Alone, each found plenty of trouble; together they were a train wreck for trouble.  Both Jake and T ended up with drug problems as well as legal problems.  Jacob spent a little more than the first 2 months of this year in county jail along with T, for a crime they were both charged with.  Jacob swears to this day that he had nothing to do with that crime….I believe him, following a brief investigation, his attorney also believed him (I go more into this drama in later post).  

T was shot in the back of the neck by another young man he had been arguing with at some residence they were both at.  He just turned 20, two weeks earlier.  What a senseless tragedy. 

One young woman, who’s part of this group of kids that have grown up together, partied together, gotten in trouble together….posted on her facebook:  “Death after death after death – when will it stop?”  They seriously just don’t get it and it just leaves me shaking my head and totally dumbfounded.

I’ve really worried about how Jacob would deal or not deal with this loss, since his normal mode of operation is just not to deal with anything painful.  Normally, this would be a huge trigger and he would totally check out.  To date, so far, so good….he was very emotional, upset and angry when he found out about T’s death.  His girlfriend told me that as long as he stayed busy he seemed to do okay.  But that if someone called asking if he’d heard anything else or if he sat around with nothing to occupy him, he would get all wound up again.  Jacob, his girlfriend and their baby (my grandson) came over and hung out with all of us on Sunday night…he looked good and he had a really nice time being with family and good friends.  

Please keep Jacob in your prayers that he continues to deal with this tragedy in a responsible and healthy manner.  Also, please remember in prayer T’s mother….she has one son in and out of prison and yesterday she laid her youngest to rest.  One tragedy after another….my heart just stays in pieces…..


  1. My heart aches to you and I am especially moved to read your last line. I am so sorry. Life can be so brutal; especially when you have the life of an addict.

    One of the things I love about my son being in rehab is that my cell phone does not ring so much. Whenever I would see his name flash "Daniel calling" I would hold my breath while answering it. Sometimes everything was fine. Occasionally, even good news. But more times that I can count his conversations would begin "Mom, you'll never believe what happened..."

    Thankfully, your son has 5 months sobriety. Praise the Lord. I pray he will hold strong through his grief and find the support to keep going. Hugs to you, Mom.

  2. What a sad story and my heart just breaks for T's mother. I will pray that Jacob will deal with his grief in a healthy way and that T's mother will be surrounded by loving support at this awful time in her life. (((HUGS)))

  3. Oh, this is so tragic. I will be praying for both Jacob and T's mom - and you. I hope that this horrible loss can somehow serve as a motivator to all his friends who are mixed up with dangerous situation. That could be ANY of our children. So sad.

    On a happy note - how wonderful that you got to hang out with your long time friend. Sounds like a good weekend for your family.

  4. It's so awful when these things happen. I pray that Jacob comes through this intact. And that T's mom finds the comfort, strength and support that she needs.

  5. I just wanted to take a minute and thank all of you for your thoughts & prayers. There is true power in prayer, thank you all!

    But for the grace of God, there go I...