It’s been a while since I’ve posted and so much has happened in the past 3 months….I have no idea where to begin or where to go from here.
Long story short….my son was arrested on January 13, 2011, transferred to county within 24 hours. He remained in county on a couple of misdemeanor charges and one state jail felony charge for possession. On March 23, 2011, two US Marshal’s picked him up and he is now in federal custody on a conspiracy possession charge. He is holding steadfast to his faith in God in this and all situations. He takes total and complete responsibility for where his lifestyle and associations have landed him. He seems to be resolved to this fate, he understands consequences. He told me a few days ago that he will get through this and that he’s just sorry that it took “this” for him to get that drugs are a dead end street every time.
I haven’t been this much of a total wreck in over 6 years, since he went to treatment for the first time and I didn’t think I would survive that. I’m in counseling, I’ve seen a psychiatrist for meds, I can’t seem to make it through a day without crying to the point of sobbing, I feel like there’s an elephant sitting on my chest….I can’t breathe, I can’t seem to focus, think, make sense…..I’m just lost . I’m terrified. I’m heartbroken. Right or wrong, I’m angry at the government for how these conspiracy charges work and the stiff sentencing that comes with them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying my son has been a choir boy, I’m just referring to fair justice and I’m just not seeing it. Cases on the Federal level are so very different than on the State level. My son is looking at a 5 year federal prison sentence and I have no idea how to get through those 5 years.
I would just ask for prayers from this community for my son.
About Me
- Kristi
- Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas, United States
- I'm mom to 3 beautiful children, wife to a wonderful man who is the love of my life and grandmother, "Nonna", to a beautiful grandson. Like too many others out there, I am the mother of an addict. I am still learning to deal with things in a healthy way and have a life inspite of the insanity that addiction produces. I am very blessed to have found this community of amazing people that share so much of themselves with us all through their blogs. You are all an inspiration to me. I share your struggles, your pain, your joys and all your hopes. I pray for the addicts still out there suffering and for the people that love them the most. My heart felt thanks to each & every one of you! May God's mercy and grace be with us all, Kristi
Oh my heart breaks for you. I've had that pain too often to count. I will pray for your son...and you that everything turns out as well as possible.
ReplyDeleteThese messes they find themselves in! SIGH! If only they could get it before they get caught.
I am praying. ((HUG)) You are heartbroken at the moment and your body is reacting to that. I have been there...all I could do was feel the feelings, cry the tears, and make my way through to the other side. There is no right and wrong way to go through this. It just hurts and thats the bottom line.
ReplyDeleteOh Sweetheart, I'm feeling your pain right now and its horrible. I am so sorry! I agree with you 100% about the justice system. Yes - drug offenders need to pay for their crime but NOT by throwing them into a worse environment. Its so messed up. My son is in a cell other drug offenders right now but he spent three months with murderers and rapists when he was just 18 years old! Its not right. They need a positive influence and some HELP not to be punished and thrown in with people that will fill their minds with negativity, etc.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. Please right me if you need to talk!!!!
I am praying for you and your son twice daily. I am so very sorry for this whole situation....and for his addiction. I know you are suffering. I am so sorry for your pain. I'm praying for your peace of mind. Please keep us updated.
ReplyDeleteThank you also so much for your comment on my blog and concern for my son. It touches me, especially in the midst of your terrible time. I know this WILL pass for you and him and it WILL get better. Hugs to you and peace within your heart and faith in a better future.
I don't even know what to write Kristi. I just can't imagine anything would make you feel better right now. I am so, so sorry for what is going on. I don't know how we can convince them that putting them in jail/prison is NOT THE ANSWER. I don't think any of us do not expect our children to have to pay for their mistakes but that is not the answer.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could do something. I have been thinking about you a lot lately - please email or call me if you want to talk.
I will be praying for you and your son and family.
Try not to think to the times ahead...the worry over what might happen, when you don't know, will make your health and well being even worse (and I know that is easier said than done). You are in my thoughts and my prayers.
ReplyDeleteIf I find a "positive" in your post, it is regarding your son's attitude. The fact that he is not making excuses, facing his consequences and maybe will use this experience to turn his life around is nothing but great. I will chose to focus on that and pray for his strength and his well being as he faces his recovery, whether in prison or not.
Thank you for all of your heartfelt comments and prayers…it means so much.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for YOU and your son.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you as well. Try to focus on yourself. I know it is hard, but it may help you so you won't concentrate so much on your son's future.
ReplyDeleteKristi -
ReplyDeleteI've just finished reading most of your blog posts. I can relate to much of what you've been through. Has your son been sentenced yet?
I've said a prayer for you and your son!
Sending peace, healing thoughts and love!
~Sherry~
i have just stumbeled on this site, and its like looking in the mirror. my son is 21, and since he was nineteen lost his way along the long road.he is addicted to cannibas and other subs,and has been in trouble with the law and i awaiting his next court appearance.
ReplyDeleteMy family has had two years of hell, pulling tugging, blaming, guilt and heartache.
I am too on meds just to get through the day in order to clear my mind from the depression that has set into our live.
When I realized that my son had a real problem with drugs ( which I now believe ran longer than 2 years) and had got in trouble with the law for which he was put on probation.I was blind and didnt know where to turn, so i pored my heart out to his probation oficer which I found alng the way that this was the wrong thing to do, because the information I gave was used against him in the courts, which caused 2 years of hell instead of help wich he needed.
Is a visious circle, and I wonder from day to day is there a light at the end at all.I pray to god his creater that he will renew all the parts that have entered his life and caused all this pain because i know that this is not what he wished intended for him.
Our lives are a long story. I could go on forever, but I just want you to know I am glad I found you, and I pray that peace will come to you and your son, and the new chapter will begin... The best of all.
Still praying....hoping no news is good news.
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking of you and are praying that all is well.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry to hear all this. Praying for you.
ReplyDelete