I can’t think, I can’t focus, I can’t concentrate on anything but him and will he live to see tomorrow….I can’t breathe. He’s back out, using. What the hell drives his demons? As much as I understand addiction, I will still never fully get it. He doesn’t know that I know…yet. Won’t really matter or make any difference when he knows, he’ll just deny it and fabricate some well spun story which he’s a master at. So, my plan at this point is to try to have one brief conversation with him to let him know that this time I do not want to see him or hear from him until he is ready for help in the form of serious recovery, ready to commit at any cost, ready for the hardest work he’ll ever do in his life. I have turned him over to God. I can’t fix any of this for him as much as I wish I could, I know that. I don’t know what else to do….. He’s in deep, playing a very dangerous game with high stakes and I just pray he doesn’t end up dead. With any luck his outstanding warrants will catch up with him soon and he’ll end up in jail, the best place for him at this very moment. This sucks, what else can I say?
- Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas, United States
- I'm mom to 3 beautiful children, wife to a wonderful man who is the love of my life and grandmother, "Nonna", to a beautiful grandson. Like too many others out there, I am the mother of an addict. I am still learning to deal with things in a healthy way and have a life inspite of the insanity that addiction produces. I am very blessed to have found this community of amazing people that share so much of themselves with us all through their blogs. You are all an inspiration to me. I share your struggles, your pain, your joys and all your hopes. I pray for the addicts still out there suffering and for the people that love them the most. My heart felt thanks to each & every one of you! May God's mercy and grace be with us all, Kristi